David Pringston, 30 years old, a guy who deliberately tries himself in everything new and exciting. From here on, David shares his tips on making long distance relationship work. He’s been apart from his match for almost three years long. So look what he says about one merry online dating hap, and a long story on building relationships while being far away from his special one.
Despite the fact that this is not the best beginning to the article named “10 tips on how to make a long distance relationship work”, I cannot but admit that a few years ago I was totally sure that any long distance relations are foredoomed to failure. I was wrong to the fingernails.
Sure enough, that long distance relationship isn’t an easy thing. The extra distance between people in love makes some simple things impossible. You cannot go out with your match, cannot smell her hair (yes, you clearly distinguish HER smell), cannot just hold her hand, needless to say that your sex life has a tough time as well… Unfortunately, for some couples the distance may become the full stop.
However, you both may reveal some welcome surprises if you know how to deal with long distance relationship right. When I met my girlfriend on one of online dating sites, I didn’t expect that that acquaintance could grow in a big and deep love. Time was passing and I was getting hooked on her more and more. Soon after I realized that this woman was the one with whom I really wanted to build a family rather than texting and chatting online.
So, here you go 10 tips on how I strengthened my love and learned how to survive a long distance relationship:
1. Honesty and Trust
Table of Contents
- 1. Honesty and Trust
- 2. Say “no” to endless communication
- 3. Take the distance between you as an opportunity
- 4. Be clear with your expectations
- 5. How to avoid those pangs of jealousy
- 6. Similar activities
- 7. Visit each other
- 8. Set clear goals
- 9. Take advantage of your loneliness
- 10. Be positive
It’s been a long time ago when I was stuck with one simple but true thing: honesty and trust should be the backbone of your relationship. Should I say that for long distance relations these two things are of the utmost importance?
My fiancee and I were doing our best to build lasting relations. And when it happened that I should move to another city, we both accepted the situation and finally survived the three-years-distance between us. The secret on how to survive a long distance relationship? We trusted each other and truly believed in our relationship.
2. Say “no” to endless communication
That would be foolish of you to stick to your partner when you are in long distance relations. There is no need to talk to each other 24 hours a day every single day. Believe me, that doesn’t save you from desperate loneliness and longing for your special one. She will be still far away. But your perpetual calls and messages can only tire her. Please, do not exhaust your partner and yourself too. Give her some space and leave some for yourself. There will be happy time to spend together without calls and texting.
3. Take the distance between you as an opportunity
One more solid reason to move through the long distance relation and crack the secret on how to make a long distance relationship work is to take it as an opportunity or even tryout of your relations. If you both pass this test for true love, be sure that this will turn out into the best proof of your serious commitments.
4. Be clear with your expectations
There is no need to try long distance relations with a person who mismatches your genuine wishes and plans for the future. To avoid dramas and scandals, you need to set some rules. Who are you two for each other? Can you meet with other people while being apart? How serious your commitment is? You’d better clarify all these question before the distance divides you.
5. How to avoid those pangs of jealousy
Well, this is one of the most painful and hard things to survive not only in long distance relations. It correlates with the very first statement about honesty and trust. If you know that your actions may somehow hurt or disappoint your match, think twice before doing them. This also includes the way you set priorities. What is more important to you: just a regular night clubbing circuit with your friends, or the feelings of your sweetheart? If it’s the hangout with guys, then once again think twice before breaking someone’s heart.
6. Similar activities
Long distance relations deprives you a skin-to-skin contact. Thanks God, we are living in the age of digital technologies. So there are many things to do in a long distance relationship so to diversify and even intensify your feelings while staying apart.
Choose what you like: two-person online games, watching video and even TV shows at the same time (Netflix has delivered a handy decision), going for online shopping together, reading books, news, cooking the same dishes together etc. Perhaps, you will even do things that you didn’t even dream to do together. The shared experience totally helped me to survive my living apart.
7. Visit each other
Visits are the landmarks of every single long distance relationship. All the waiting and loneliness sufferings will be compensated when you meet and enjoy some common things like hugs and kisses. These reunions made me feel the way I’d never experienced before. My heart was pounding like insane, the butterflies in my stomach were flying way too fast, I was delirious with delight and love. The distance between us was totally worth those feelings!
8. Set clear goals
Little secret that no couple can stretch their long distance relationship for forever. There has to be a moment when you settle down and live a long happy life together. That is why you both should have a clear plan of your staying apart. How long are you going to live apart? How do you see the future? What are you doing to close the moment of final reunion?
The answers to these questions will let you work together towards the mutual goals. If your goals differ, then the work for your relationship may not well worth the effort.
9. Take advantage of your loneliness
Your partner is far away, but this is not the reason for feeling lonely. Look around – you always have friends and family beside you. Pay attention to these special ones too. Don’t make your partner the center of your universe. Take your staying apart as a new challenge for self development and education, or just fun. There are a lot of things you can do without your beloved one. So don’t lose your chance and take time for yourself!
10. Be positive
Positive energy saves every single thing in this life. Should I tell you that bringing in positiveness and joy into your long distance relationship will keep it alive and strong? Nobody says that waiting is painless but you need to know that one day this separation will be over and you’ll get a life with your significant one. The valuable lesson I’ve learned on how to make a long distance relationship work is not to put too much focus on negative stuff but instead try to hear and understand each other. Once you manage to control your negative feelings, you’ll come to easier and smoother relations.
Seems like it’s time to conclude and say some profound thing on how to make a long distance relationship work. But I truly believe that the tips I’ve listed above will help you at least to think beforehand and take weighted decisions. I’m sure that each couple has its own ground rules in building lasting relations. But if you boil down to the simple truths about honesty, trust, and positive spirit, you’ll manage to build worthwhile relationship.