Leaving a person that you promised to spend the life with is extremely hard, and painful is not enough to describe it. It is confusing as well – not long ago, you had a steady plan on how your life will be, and now you are not sure anymore what to do tomorrow. Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, it still seems impossible to understand that, your ex`s face won’t be the first thing you see in the morning or that there won’t be anyone when you come home. You may not even know where your home is anymore.
How to Cope with Divorce
Table of Contents
We realize how hard it is, and we want to help you in any way possible. Here are seven ways how you can get over a divorce.
It Is Okay to Be Sad
The first person who said that you should be optimistic about everything that is happening in your life was a total freak or didn’t have a presence at all. Being always happy isn’t healthy. You are just bottling up your emotions, and one day this toxic mix will blow up. That is why hiding your sadness and pain will make it only worse. Give yourself some time to mourn over your broken relationship and happy moments you shared. The main rule is to not stay in this state for too long.
Don`T Hold Yourself Down
We know the thing you want to do the most is to lock in your darkroom and to not speak to anyone. You can feel like sharing your problems may be too embarrassing or become a burden for the person you confide in. The thing is – it is not valid. Sometimes we don`t realize that in fact, we need help or a shoulder to cry on. Don`t hesitate to ask for it. The last thing your people will think about is you being a burden or embarrassment. Everyone will want to help or just be there for you. Share your feelings, and you will see how much easier it is to breeze. One phone call is all it takes.
Don’t Blame Yourself
If you were the initiator, you might feel like you`ve let the most crucial person in your life down. You are the cause of his or her pain. If you weren’t, you might feel that you weren`t kind, loving, or caring enough. You are the reason why he or she left. The answer to every case – it is not your fault. This relationship, even if it is broken, was not a coincidence. Every person brings something into our life, just like we do bring something in theirs. You could have learned some lessons, or maybe this person helped you to understand yourself better. Anyway, it is time for you to part and move on – because it was meant to be. That is why you should definitely stop feeling guilty – it won`t help anyone or mend anything. It will become the thing that is dragging you down.
Trying to Get Him or Her Back Isn`T an Option
Stalking him or her on social media as well. Asking for a divorce was a tough decision to make, and you should respect it. Don`t convince your partner that it still can be and he or she has just got confused. It is over. Stick with it no matter how difficult it may seem. And don`t get obsessed with their new life – comparing yourself and new boyfriend or girlfriend of your ex is toxic for you in the first place. It just won`t get you anywhere – except the hairdresser where you will change the hair color to be like your ex`s new partner. Is it the life you want to have?
Don`T Get Kids Involved
You can be over as a couple, but you can`t stop being parents. Of course, it is easier to tell your kids what an awful jerk their father or mother was and how much he or she hurt you. But there is a big difference between the natural choice and the right choice. Set your boundaries and try to be respectful towards each other, at least in front of the kids. Otherwise, it will affect your children`s love life, or they can lose respect towards relationships completely.
How to Move on After Divorce
Your ex isn`t the last man or woman on the Earth. We are totally sure that there is somebody perfect for you, even if it seems that ex was your only one. You can be afraid to trust again, and we totally understand that. But what if you can find someone even better? What if this person will do everything right where other people got it wrong? What if this person will be brave enough to give the love another chance? Good old Tinder and online dating platforms will offer you a great variety of choices. AsiaCharm, LatinFeels, Valentime – these sites will show you not only other women in your country but women worldwide as well. Experience different cultures, other tempers, and another attitude. It can become your perfect distraction. At least create an account and see where it will get you.
New clothes, visit the coffee shop you`ve dreamt about, a short trip to another town – all these small things can surely make you feel better. Living your best life without a husband or wife is still possible. You`ve somehow managed to have fun before they have stepped into your life, huh? Moreover, a relationship is about compromises, and you might miss out going to night clubs with a friend or that particular hobby you were thinking a lot about. Now you are free to do everything you want! Grab your friends and family and get going!
We are aware that it is much easier to say all of these than to follow. We understand how hard it is to start getting your life together. However, someday you`ll have to get out of your darkroom and face real life because there is life after divorce. It is up to you – to have it or mourn over the broken marriage forever.